who's your second?

Grad students in my department have been conducting a pretty intense discussion over email about the future of one of the departmental qualifying exams. I was really delighted to suggest a minor but significant change, and receive an email with the subject line, "I second [Kermit]!"

That got me to thinking: who would I want as a second if I were in a duel? (Never mind the fact that I have absolutely no proficiency with any sort of weapon.)

After about 5 seconds of thinking, and tossing out various possibilities (housemate would probably faint or vomit, for example), I knew. You'd want someone who was steady on their feet, observant, generally aboveboard, relatively well-versed in common medical knowledge, and loyal. First I'd get my high school friend Flight Girl, who studies aerospace engineering, has lived in Antarctica, and is relatively practical while not being afraid to get angry. Then I'd ask my college friends, one crazy Russian orienteer and one level-headed physicist - they'd have to come as a pair to balance each other out. I'd feel confident knowing the three of them had my back.

So, I ask: who would you want as your second(s)?