I've been realizing lately why I love the whole drafting process: it lets me be one lazy-ass writer. I write without worrying about making my thoughts intelligible to anyone else, including my future self re-reading the draft. Explaining is, honestly, a lot of work. Things that are completely clear to me require explanation not only of the ideas themselves, but also of the premises behind the ideas, why they fit together in the first place, when all I want to do is keep thinking on my own. The draft of this first chapter is in many ways like an outline in sentence-and-paragraph form: the ideas are there, but in a kind of intellectual shorthand. They're all placeholders for an actual act of communication with potential readers, the kind of writing into which I plan to revise the chapter.
Paradoxically, on this blog--which, potentially, has many more readers than my dissertation will--I never revise for clarity. If you can't read my mind, deal with it, I seem to say.
This may not be the best way of expressing thoughts more complex than "I am hungry for rice pudding," however.
So my apologies if that most recent post, and others in the more exploratory vein, are vague or confusing or not productive of conversation. I may start actually using that "draft" button on Blogger.